Couples of today are too selfish to be parents...

...that's what I'm listening to now on the radio.

The world population is growing but the European population is shrinking. The chief rabbi has said that Europe is dying as the indigenous population is too selfish to have children.  His explanation: that we are hooked on consumerism and instant gratification. 

One of nine children has just called into the radio show to say the important things are not constant presents, nintendos or holidays...but much more important is to go for long walks, to learn your place in the family and to always have someone to play with.  A mother of two young boys has called in to say that two is her limit and yes she does now want to be selfish and find time for herself and also to dedicate the time that she does have to the development of her two existing children, not to have any more.  Clearly there are benefits to both.  Any children at all are a blessing but there will be differences in opinion in what provides the best environment to raise them.

It's true that in the UK today it is normal to be one of two or three.  A little more unusual to be one of four and considered very unusual to be one of more than five.


In my own direct linage my paternal grandfather was one of eleven (spot the Irish link), my maternal grandmother an only child, my maternal grandfather was one of four, and my maternal grandmother one of four.  My father one of two, my mother an only child.  I'm one of two, before complicating the scene with step-siblings of which I have another four.  My husband is one of three.

But is it true that we are now a generation of people far too selfish to have any children or at a push more than two?  And are the chief rabbi's comments correct?

Being 35 and about to have my first, then it's pretty clear that I won't be having nine.  I'm simply too old for having a large family to be a consideration.  Which triggers a whole host of additional questions: why did I wait so long? did I consciously put my career and my financial independence first? did I deliberately spend my earlier years as avoiding starting a family?  I could probably write a book on this, but not here today. 

Would I like more?  Of course I would - there's nothing quite like growing up with a brother or sister close in age to share life with, but let's see how this one goes and how the integration goes with our "blended" family.  Step-parenting is considered to be even more difficult than parenting, and step-families are more likely to break up than any other family. Throw in a mixed culture (or three) and undoubtedly we have some challenges ahead.